Tower of Sorcery Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sweating with effort, Tarrin sat straight up in the chair, his tail lashing behind him. His eyes were closed, and he struggled to reach out and grab nothing.

That was about the best explanation he could come up with. He could feel it out there, just begging to be touched, but it slipped out of his grasp like smoke. It was maddening, but Dolanna did very little by way of suggestion or instruction. She told him that each Sorcerer touched the weave in a different way, and he had to learn it on his own. She also told him that all it took was one successful attempt. Conscious attempt, that is, for he'd already used Sorcery before. Now, his conscious mind was struggling to learn the trick that his subconscious one had already picked up. She would give him very basic help, but there was nothing more she could do.

"Relax, Tarrin," her voice soothed. "You cannot yank at it. You must reach, but you must also bring it to you at the same time. You are trying to reach out and grab it."

"That's what you told me to do," he protested.

"I said to reach out for what is there," she elaborated. "Part of the trick is drawing it in, the other part is reaching out to meet it. Once you make the connection, you will be able to charge."

Blowing out his breath, he tried again. He reached out with himself, something that he was used to doing with his senses. Now he was doing it with that something, that thing inside him that made him a Sorcerer. He could feel it within him, reaching out to complete the circuit that would make him a part of the Weave. But it couldn't find anything to connect with.

"Gently," Dolanna urged. "Gently. Do not force it. It is not something to seize, it is something to greet."

Closing his eyes again, he tried to visualize the strands in the room, from what he remembered of the day before. Then he reached out to them, the way flowers reach out to the rising sun, trying to draw in its warmth. He could feel them around him, but they would not respond to his call. He physically reached out with a paw, claws extending, as if to hook the elusive magical energy, but there was nothing upon which for his claws to gain a purchase.

He had been doing this for three straight days. Despite doing nothing physical, he left the training room drained, and could think of nothing but sleep. Allia and Keritanima had been much the same. It wouldn't have been so bad if he'd actually managed to accomplish something. But for three days, he'd done nothing but flounder around aimlessly, reaching out in vain for something that simply was not there.

Blowing out his breath in frustration, he opened his eyes and stood up. His tail hooked on the back of the chair, picking it up. "Tarrin," Dolanna said calmly, putting her hands on his arms. "Relax."

"It's frustrating!" he growled in exasperation.

"It took me almost a month," she told him. "You have plenty of time. Now sit back down."

Growling in his throat, Tarrin righted the chair and sat back down. He closed his eyes and started all over again, reaching out. And he failed, over and over, as minutes stretched into an hour. Dolanna put her hands over his paws gently as his claws dug deeply into the table, and he relaxed. "I must seem silly," he said, but the frustration was evident in his voice.

"I would go back to my room and throw chairs," she confided with a smile. "I went through ten desk chairs over that month. It is not easy, Tarrin. Even after you succeed, you will struggle, both to touch the Weave, and then to let it go. But as most things, it requires practice. Even though you fail, you are learning. Eventually, your trial will not result in error, and you will succeed. Do not dwell on your failures, look towards your success."

"You're so optomistic it makes me sick," he said with a smile.

"That is my job," she said with a gentle smile, patting the backs of his paws. "Now, let us start again, from the beginning. Breathe deeply and calm yourself."

Tarrin left that day drained, tired, out of sorts, and aggravated. He had failed again. Tarrin was not used to failing. Not like that. His parents had always taught him that failure was not bad so long as one tried one's hardest. Tarrin was trying his hardest, but when he did do his best, he almost never failed so utterly has he had done so for the past four days. It seemed unnatural to him to fail so miserably, even after he'd put so much effort and dedication into his task. He stalked back to the main Tower to get something to eat and fret over his failure to produce results, and he could feel the weight of the sand pouring from the hourglass, and right over his head. He had to learn how to touch the Weave. He had to learn how to use Sorcery. He didn't have a choice. He needed to protect himself against whoever was trying to kill him. And, if his hunches were right, he'd need it to protect him from the katzh-dashi.

That was one good reason. Allia and Keritanima couldn't see it, but he could. The faint glow of the Ward that blocked magic from passing through it, and also worked to seal him inside the Tower grounds. It was as good as the bars on his cage. Tarrin had a hatred and irrational fear of being imprisoned--it was integral in his nature as a Were-cat--and just looking at the Ward caused the Cat to rise up in him and try to take control. The other good reason was slinking around the Tower grounds like a rat. Jesmind was inside the Tower grounds. She was trapped inside with him, and he knew that she had more plans for trying to take off his head. She would play all light and sunshine as long as the Keeper or Sorcerers were around, but he knew that she was just biding her time. She was still trying to kill him, and she wasn't about to stop now.

After a quick meal, he went out and sat in the garden for a while. The smell of flowers and growing things always soothed him, and the relative isolation let him forget for a while that he was trapped on the grounds. Tarrin was a creature of the forest. He couldn't deny that. He was born and raised in one, and his transformation into a Were-cat had only intensified his attachment to the woods. The gardens were no forest, but the green and the lighter human scents made it possible for him to imagine it. If only for a little while.

"You're getting soft."

Tarrin was up and whirled around in a flash, claws out and his eyes locked on the green eyes of Jesmind. She was standing not a paw's reach from him, paws behind her back, her stance and demeanor obviously nonthreatening. She had approached from downwind, which was why he hadn't scented her, and she was light enough on her feet to walk the crushed gravel path without making any noise.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"To talk," she said mildly. He continued to glare at her, and she blew out her breath in exasperation. "By the moons, cub, if I wanted to fight, do you think I would have given myself away?"

"Don't call me that," he said, sheathing his claws.

"It's what you are," she said. "Sit down."

"I don't have--"

"I said sit!" she commanded in an imperious tone. Tarrin found himself obeying it before he even thought about what he was doing. "That's better," she said in a calm tone, sitting down on the stone bench beside him. Her scent was carefully neutral. She was keeping herself tightly under control, he could tell. She wasn't about to give anything away. "Now then, we have to talk."

"About what?" he asked gruffly.

"Put away the attitude, cub," she said frostily. "I see no reason why you can't be civil."

"Maybe because you're trying to kill me?"

"Let's not quibble over details," she said quickly. "I'm, leaving, Tarrin," she said quietly. "So consider yourself free. At least for now."

"What's wrong?"

"Do you really care?" she asked sharply. "I have to return to my den. I don't have any choice. But the offer stands still, my cub. Come with me, and we won't have any trouble."

"You know I can't do that," he said bluntly. "I'm even more dangerous to you now than I was a month ago. If the Sorcerers don't teach me how to control my power, I'll end up killing both of us by accident. I won't put you in that kind of risk." He glanced at her. "It's not that I don't want to," he added. "But this is something that I have to do."

"Why?" she demanded suddenly. "My mother is a Druid, Tarrin. She can teach you about magic."

"She could teach me about Druidic magic, but not Sorcery," he replied calmly. "It's oil and water, Jesmind. It won't do me any good."

"You!" she flared. "You you you! What about me? Do you have any idea how much I hate having to do what I do? I like you, Tarrin. A lot. But you make me--"

"Make you what?" he countered. "Where did you ever say that things had to be now? I told you once before that if you would just wait, I'd be happy to go with you. This isn't about me, woman! This is about making sure I don't accidentally barbecue the both of us one day!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" she snapped. "My mother can control your power until you learn how to control it yourself! I know you need training, but my mother can help you! You don't have to be here!"

"There, you see?" he said, standing up. "You never told me that before."

"That's because you never gave me a chance!" she challenged, standing to face him. "If you were such a pig-faced stubborn mule-headed lump of dirt, you'd have given me a chance!"

"You never listened! You didn't care about what I needed, just what you wanted!"

"What I wanted? I did what I had to do! If you would have gone mad, it would have destroyed the reputation of our kind! We have laws, Tarrin! I was doing what I had to do!"

"You knew I was a Sorcerer, woman! You should have laid it out at the beginning! But no, you had to play your little game--"

"And you lied to me!" she said in sudden fury. "I still want to wring your little neck for that!"

"You can try any time you feel like it," he hissed, his eyes narrowing.

"Don't tempt me, boy," she snapped. "You may be bigger than me, but you know I can kick your tail all over this garden."

With an animal growl in his throat, he hunkered down into his slouch-like stalking stance, claws out and paws wide. "Bring it on," he said in a low hiss.

Jesmind's eyes flared from within with that unholy greenish radiance, and her claws slid out of their sheaths. "Don't push me, cub," she growled. "I'll kill you right here and now."

"Children," Keritanima's calm voice called from right beside them. The little fox Wikuni stepped slowly and ever-so-calmly between them, and she put one hand on Tarrin's chest and the other hand on Jesmind's shoulder. "This is no place to play. If you want to kill each other, go out onto the training field. I don't want your blood sprayed all over the flowers." She gave Tarrin a look, a look of such calm confidence, her amber eyes so clear and penetrating, that it made him blink. She turned that level gaze on Jesmind, and the Were-cat female gave the small, slight, slender little Wikuni a startled look. Keritanima wasn't that large, but she was a princess, and she knew how to exert her authority. She used that authority like a club, beating both Were-cats over the head with it until they obeyed her. "Now then, can the two of you ever talk to each other without using death threats?" she continued in that same calm, level voice that all but vibrated with power.

"She started it," Tarrin said lamely.

Keritanima grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and jerked him down to her level. "If you get yourself killed because you don't know how to keep your claws in their sheaths, I'll never forgive you," she hissed at him. "Now you will stop acting like a barkat with its tail cut off." Jesmind laughed, but the little Wikuni grabbed her shirt and yanked her down too. "And you will learn that not everyone obeys your every wish and whim," she told her in a low voice. "If you want to talk to him, you will do it politely, and you will respect Tarrin's decisions. Do I make myself abundantly clear?"

"Who are you, little doormouse?" Jesmind asked in obvious shock. "Do you have any idea how close you are to dying?"

"Death is feared by the weak," Keritanima said in a voice that made Jesmind gape. "Do you fear death, Were-cat?"

Jesmind had no answer to that.

"That's what I thought," she said, letting the Were-cats go. "Now, if you're going to talk, talk. But you're not going to fight. The first one that starts provoking the other will answer to me."

And then she walked away, leaving both Were-cats to stare at her in total shock. They stared at where she walked around a hedge for several moments, then Jesmind laughed ruefully. "I think we were just spanked," she said. "Who is that little mouse? She acts like my mother."

"That is a friend of mine," Tarrin said dubiously. He'd never been, manhandled like that before. He didn't quite know how to take it. A little slip of a girl that he could put over his knee and spank had just done the very same thing to him. Figuratively speaking, of course. Part of Tarrin objected violently to that thought, but the Cat had instantly recognized the raw power which the Wikuni princess was bringing to bear against them, and had instantly submitted to her.

"I guess we could try again. Just without bloodshed this time. The trees only know, I'd rather not find out what she'll do to us if we misbehave." She reached out and put a paw on Tarrin's shoulder. He recoiled from that touch immediately, which surprised her. "What's the matter?" she asked in confusion.

"Just don't touch me," he said defensively.

She gave him a curious look, then reached out again. He flinched away before she could reach him, but then she struck like a viper, grabbing him by the shoulder. She grabbed his other shoulder and made him look into her eyes, and when he met her gaze, her eyes widened in surprise. "Look at me," she ordered when he looked away. He met her gaze unwillingly, his eyes betraying his fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you, my cub," she said soothingly. "But I can see, you've been hurt. Hurt too much for someone so young. You're almost feral. No wonder you seem so violent. I thought it was the Cat doing it to you, but it's not, is it?" She didn't wait for an answer. "You trust the Selani, don't you? And the little mouse?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm deciding what to do about you," she said seriously. "Now answer the question. You trust the Selani and the mouse, don't you?"

"Y-yes," he admitted.

"Good. You need someone that you can trust. Talk to them, cub. Always tell them how you're feeling. It will help you cope with what you are. Now, tell me why you're walking on a razor's edge."

He looked around. "Not here," he said. "Let's walk for a while."

She nodded, and they started walking down the path. Tarrin switched to the unspoken manner of the Cat, a language that any eavesdroppers would have trouble understanding. "Something is going on here," he told her. "I'm not sure exactly what yet, but I think the Sorcerers want something from us."

"This is why I didn't want you coming here," she said with a sigh. "I don't trust these people. Not one bit. I was more than willing to beat you into submission, and take you home where mother could help train you."

"Me and my other two nonhuman friends are working together," he told her. "We're trying to find out exactly why the Tower wants us so badly."

"Do you have any idea yet?"

"No, but we've just started. The little mouse, Keritanima, she's a princess. She knows all about playing politics and intrigue, so we're waiting for her to get herself situated, and she's going to get us going. Me and Allia really don't know all that much about that kind of thing."

"She's too honorable, and you were born in a place where there is no intrigue," she mused to herself. "When I leave here, Tarrin, you're going to be alone."

"I've always been alone."

"No, cub," she smiled. "I've always been here. And I think that a part of you knew. Even when we were enemies, part of you felt secure about the fact that I was always close to you. The Cat in you knew that mother was never far away. I don't like doing it," she said with a grunt. "You're far too young, and you're not entirely stable. This place has brought out all the worst in you, and it's going to cause you to snap again. Just do me a favor, and when that happens, don't kick yourself in the head over it. It happens, even to those of us born Were, cub. We can snap just as easily as you. Maybe even more easily. You will snap again, cub. Eventually, you'll learn how to not hurt your friends and loved ones in your frenzy. But if you're careful, I think you're going to be alright, Tarrin. You've adapted better than I expected, and you did it without my help. You're still a little reactive, but you'll mellow out over time. But you're my cub, and I don't want to leave you. Especially in this place."

"I'll be alright."

"I think you will," she smiled. "But it doesn't really change things, cub. You're still Rogue, even if you have good reasons to be. Like I told you, we have laws. I'm going to try to have someone else come and take my place as your bond-mother, but I'll warn you right now. The next Were-cat you see may be here to kill you. You should treat her like an enemy until she proves she is your friend."

"Alright."

"But I'm not your enemy, my cub," she said, putting her paw on his shoulder. "Not anymore. You may still hate me, but I wanted you to know that. I'll never lift a paw against you again."

Tarrin put his paw over hers. "Thank you," he said simply. "That's one less thing to worry about."

"It's just temporary, cub," she warned. "I'll have to tell the others what happened. Like I said, I'll try to arrange for another bond-mother, but I may not succeed. So watch your back. Now, I have something to ask of you."

"What?"

"I want to deepen your bond," she said.

"My what?"

"When I bit you, you became a Were-cat," she said matter-of-factly. "That formed a bond between us. But among our kind, we can develop bonds with each other through blood. The bond I have with you now is very shallow, because you were human when it was made. It was enough for me to find you and know you were alright, until they put that damned collar on you. It's interfering with the bond."

"What is a bond?"

"It's very complicated, cub. I've been alive for five hundred years, and I still don't understand the specifics of it. The short of it is that it will let me know where you are, and if you're alright," she replied. "Because I'll have a small part of you inside me, I'll know where and how the rest of you are. But that collar is inhibiting it. I want to deepen it, so that I can find you after I've finished with what I have to do. I swear to you right now, cub, that I won't tell anyone where you are unless they're being sent to help you. I won't help them track you down and kill you. This way, if I can get you help, I can send that help right to you, no matter where you are."

When speaking in the manner of the Cat, it was impossible to lie. That was why Tarrin believed her. Tarrin had hated and feared his bond-mother, but she was right. A part of him had always trusted her, taken comfort in the fact that she was always close by. Though his logical mind screamed out against it, the instinctive part of him believed her, believed in her, trusted her.

"What do I have to do?"

"Just let me bite you," she replied with a smile. "That's all."

"Well, I guess that I can do that," he replied.

They stopped, and she put a paw on the side of his neck. "Now just hold still," she said aloud, "and trust me. It may hurt. I have to bite deep."

"Alright."

She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips, then lowered down and bit him on the side of the neck. Her long, sharp fangs sank deep into the side of his neck, hitting an artery. It did sting like fury, but there was no icy numbness like there had been the first time. But as quickly as the fangs drove into him, they pulled away. He could feel his blood flow through the two puncture wounds, but only for a second, for they closed quickly.

He didn't feel any different when she rose up and looked at him. She had a thin line of blood running from the corner of her mouth, which she licked away. But her eyes were soft and reassuring. "There," she told him. "It's that simple."

"Now what?"

"Now, we talk," she said. "I don't know you well, my cub. Not as well as I should."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Ours," she said calmly. "I only have today, and most of it is gone."

"How are you going to get out of here? I know you know that we're trapped in here."

"Give me more credit than that," she smile. "I've been coming and going for the last three days."

"How?"

"There's a trick to it," she said. "Don't even ask how, I couldn't explain it to you. I can't even show you. Just trust me. But you're wasting what little time I have, cub. Tell me about Aldreth, and your parents."

"Why do you have to go?"

"Don't ask silly questions," she berated him.

"It's not silly from where I'm standing."

"Maybe not, but I don't have time to explain it," she replied. "I'm not here to talk about me. I'm here to get to know my cub better, before I have to leave him to fend for himself."

It was late, well past midnight. Jesmind stood in Tarrin's room, putting her shirt back on, more than aware of the scent of the Selani, fresh and on the far side of the door.

Seducing him hadn't been in the plan, but she wasn't sorry that it happened.

Tarrin was, was nothing like she thought. She had thought him out of control, walking the edge of insanity. He was. But it wasn't for the reasons that she thought. She had believed it was the Cat driving him mad, but the Cat was only the instrument and not the hand pushing it. If he were removed from the Tower, from the situation that was slowly and inexorably driving him mad, he would be well. His very demeanor was so much different from that young, scared, trusting cub that she had met so long ago. He had become hard, grim, almost fatalistic. She couldn't blame him for the changes, but she understood what those changes meant. He was slowly losing his humanity, and if it did not stop, he would go mad. What could not destroy him quickly would destroy him bit by bit, slowly eroding away that which made him what he was, destroying the young innocent boy and replacing him with a savage, ruthless monster.

The Cat had nearly driven him mad, and now the Tower itself was trying to finish the job.

Oh, it wasn't the Tower itself, it was the situation. Tarrin was living in fear, and if he were human, it may be something that he could deal with. But he had the Cat with him now, and the Cat was changing Tarrin's usual reactions to such things. What was the danger now was Tarrin's conscious mind, because he would make the decisions that would turn him into a ruthless monster.

Blinking, she settled the shirt over her lean stomach, then marched deliberately for the door that adjoined Tarrin's room with the Selani's. She knew the Selani was awake, and was fully aware of what was going on. And the Selani didn't disappoint. She stood near her own door in the small room, wearing nothing but a nightshirt, and holding two slender swords in her hands. Her look was one of grim determination, and it seemed to Jesmind that she had been torn between charging in there and saving Tarrin from her, or trusting in Tarrin's judgement and not interfering.

Jesmind would need that trust.

It was something that, unfortunately, she could do little to help him with aside from taking him out of the Tower. But she couldn't do that now. Things had changed, and taking him back was no longer an option. She couldn't force him, and she was in no condition to fight. She had only one thing to say to the Selani, which she did as the woman stared defiantly at her. "I'm leaving," she told her bluntly. "Watching him is now your responsibility. Keep him alive, Selani. If you let him get killed, I'm going to hunt you down and take your hair for a bellpull."

And then she left the Selani before she could respond.

Creeping through the north tower in the dead of night, the female Were-cat avoided guards and Sorcerers with an ease that would make the greatest master thief envious. She crept across the Tower grounds and entered the main Tower itself, her delicate nose following a faint scent trail set down some hours before. It was faint and deeply covered by a multitude of other scents, but her exceptionally sensitive sense of smell followed that smell of human and lavender and silk and ivory quite easily. She moved in utter silence, her large padded feet making not even a whisper of sound on the stone of the floor, her white fur seeming to absorb the darkness and merge with the shadows created by the glowglobes. She flitted from shadow to shadow, hallway to hallway, moving through the Tower like a ghost, raising not a whisper of sound or flicker of motion to alert those that moved around her, totally oblivious to her passing.

In all the Tower, there was but one human that Jesmind would even come close to trusting. She reached that person's door not long after entering the Tower, using a single claw to throw the latch and entering the small, elegantly appointed room of the human woman that had taken in her cub in her absence and protected him as best she could.

Dolanna's eyes opened when Jesmind's shadow fell over her, blocking the light from the small window that let the cool air of the waning summer into the room. Those large, dark eyes betrayed no fear, and the Sorceress made no overt moves. She simply stared up at Jesmind with calm eyes, assessing the Were-cat's motives. Not much could rattle the Sorceress, Jesmind had come to discover over the months of watching her cub from the shadows.

"And what brings you past my door at this hour?" Dolanna asked in a calm voice.

"Don't push it," Jesmind told her. "I still can't believe that I'm doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Trusting one of you," she spat. "But my cub trusts you, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"And what, may I ask, would you need my trust for?" she asked calmly and to the point.

"Something is going on," she said bluntly in reply. Dolanna sat up as she looked down at her, those large, dark eyes calm and attentive. "The Tower wants something out of him, Sorceress. It's so obvious, even he has noticed it."

"You give little credit to him," she said.

"Oh, I give him alot more credit than you think," she retorted, "but Tarrin's a backwater country boy thrown into a viper pit. He's not used to seeing intrigue and backbiting, and it is credit to say he's noticed something that he's really never seen before."

"I stand corrected," Dolanna replied mildly. "And why does this bring you to my door?"

"Because there's alot more going on here than just some errand that Tarrin can run for the Tower," she said. "Tarrin made mention of the fact that they brought Allia and the little Wikuni in as well, and all three of them seem to have alot of attention from the Keeper and the Council of Seven."

"I have noticed that, yes," Dolanna agreed. "I think it is because the difference in culture demands that all three of them be given close scrutiny."

"No," Jesmind snorted. "They're collecting them for a reason, and they don't seem to be too picky about how they get them."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when you caught me?" she asked. "Remember that collar that was around my neck?"

Dolanna nodded, and her eyes were beginning to look troubled. "It was magical in nature," she said. "You were being controlled."

"That's right," she spat. "And it was a Sorcerer that put that damned thing around my neck."

"How do you know this?"

"All of my kind have a touch of Druidic magic in us," she replied. "Some more than others. My own Druidic power rates about at the level of pond scum, but I can tell the difference between a Priest's chant, a Mage's spellcasting, and a Sorcerer's weaving. I tell you right now, woman, that one of you put that collar on me. One of you set me loose in Tarrin's bedchamber. I don't know if they wanted him dead or just wanted him to be Were, but there was no accident about it. I remember specifically being sent after him. I rather think that they wanted him dead, myself. That he survived was a stroke of the wildest luck. When he turned Were, they just added him to the other two. An added bonus."

Dolanna was quiet for a moment. "Why do you bring this to me?"

"Because only a fool wouldn't know that something's going on," she said. "Since I think that whoever caught me sent me to kill him, it makes me wonder why half of you Sorcerers want to train him, and the other half want him dead." She crossed her arms and looked down at Dolanna grimly. "I know you, Sorceress. My cub is alive because of you. I know that you are very attached to him. Well, I have to leave, so I won't be here to protect him anymore. So you have to find out what's going on, and protect him from whoever's trying to get rid of him."

"You are aware of much more than I expected," she said with a sigh. "I happen to know that Tarrin is indeed being trained for a very special task. I do not know what this task is, but I have been given instruction from the Keeper herself that he is to be trained as quickly as humanly possible. As to the attacks on him, that I do not know. I do know that the Keeper somehow knows who is behind it, but she would never share such knowledge with me. I am not, as they say, in the inner circle. My involvement in this begins and ends with Tarrin."

"So, the Tower wants him alive, and someone else inside the Tower wants him dead," Jesmind surmised. "Now, the big question is why. What makes my cub so important?"

"His power, probably," Dolanna said. "I tell you this, Jesmind. That boy is the most powerful Sorcerer I have ever seen. When he is trained, his raw power will be unrivalled on this world. It would take a full Circle to stop him. My guess is that he is being trained to undertake a mission that only someone with his power could complete."

"And some other group is trying to stop it?" Jesmind asked.

"I would assume so," Dolanna replied.

"It almost washes, but not quite," the Were-cat snorted. "If that were so, then what about the others? Are the Selani and the little mouse as strong as he is?"

"No," Dolanna replied. "The Selani is not strong at all in the gift. The Wikuni shows considerable potential, but she is not even close to Tarrin's raw power."

"Then what do they have to do with it?"

"They are non-human," Dolanna replied. "That is the only thing that links them together."

"So, we have a big hole," she said. "And it's going to be up to you to fill it, woman. I won't be here."

"You have given up on Tarrin?"

"No," she replied. "He's still my cub, and he always will be. But I can't stay here anymore. I'm going to go home and try to arrange to have someone else come and teach him what he needs to know, but I may not be able to. The others may decide that he's too old to be taught, and simply decide to have him killed."

"Others? Which others?"

"We don't all run naked through the forest and howl at the moon," she snorted. "Well, not all of us, anyway. The woodland folk all live by a set of laws, and we Were-cats are part of it. Those laws are why I tried to kill my cub. I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice. It's still against our law, but I hope I can convince them that he's not too far gone. There are few enough males as it is, killing one just because he had to come here first would be a crime."

"The Fae-da'Nar," Dolanna said with a smile. "I have heard many stories of that most secret society. I even managed to learn some of your laws, from a Were-wolf."

"Yes, I know that Were-wolf," she said dismissively. "Doesn't it seem awfully convenient that the one Sorcerer that just happens to have experience in dealing with Were-kin just happens to be the one that finds a fledgling Were-cat on her doorstep?"

"I asked the very same question myself, when it ocurred," she replied smoothly. "I considered it coincidence before. Now, I do not think I am so certain."

"Good. Someone in this Tower is trying to kill my cub, Dolanna. I can't be here to protect him, so I want you to help do that for me, until I can get someone over here to take my place."

"So," Dolanna said with a smile, "this means that he is no longer your enemy?"

"He never was," she grunted. "He made me angry, but among our kind, angry doesn't really count. I've tried to kill my own mother. And I meant it at the time. It's the way we are." She turned around a moment. "It's him," she grated. "When I was watching him from a distance, I saw the young cub I saw when I first found him, and I'd give up on taking him down as a Rogue. But when I tried to talk sense into him, he would get me so mad all I wanted to do was wring his neck. That cub has got a very sharp tongue."

"That is, interesting," Dolanna said with a light laugh. "He swears that it is you." Jesmind turned around again, giving the Sorceress a curious look. "I have heard very much the same thing, but from him. He once told me that he called you his 'far friend', meaning that the further away you were, the more he liked you. It was when you talked to him that he became angry with you. And I think he still has trouble forgiving you for turning on him."

"I never turned on him," she said heatedly. "He knew what he was getting into--"

"You gave him no choice, Jesmind," Dolanna interrupted, climbing out of bed. "He was desperately afraid that he was going to accidentally hurt you with his Sorcery. Did he tell you what happened before he left Aldreth, before he met you?" Jesmind shook her head. "His sister, who is also tremendously gifted and is only thirteen years old, had an accident. She would have killed me with her Sorcery, had I not been ready for just such an accident. The accident has left a very deep impression in Tarrin's mind. I think it is why he is having so much trouble using his power. He is so frightened of hurting someone with his power that he is afraid to touch it. When you flatly refused to bring him here, he decided to leave. Not because of you, but to protect you from his power."

"He never told me that," Jesmind said in quiet reflection.

"Tarrin's heart is deep. He would go to great lengths to bring comfort to total strangers. To hurt people is totally against his nature."

"Yes, that's the problem," she grunted. "That's the other thing I came to talk to you about."

"What?"

"You have to get him out of here," she said. "This place is killing him bit by bit. The Tarrin I see now isn't the same cub that walked through those gates. He's turning hard, and if something isn't done, he'll become feral. He's already half feral now. It won't take much to make him feral permanently."

"Feral?"

"It's a term we use," she replied. "To us, it means savage, or vicious. More than a few of us are like that. We may be intelligent, but we're still part animal. If you beat an animal long enough, it turns mean, and it will never trust anyone again. That can happen to us too. If he's put through too much in this pit, he'll never trust another soul when he finally walks out those gates. He'll be feral. He'll only trust those people that he trusted before he turned feral, and when they're gone, that's it. He'll run into the forest, and noboby will ever see him again."

"I cannot take him from the Tower, Jesmind," she said in a troubled voice.

"No, but you can take the Tower out of him," she replied. "You have to make sure that he spends time with the Selani and the little mouse. He trusts them. But it can't be just walks in the garden. It has to be quality time with nobody watching or eavesdropping, where he can express himself to them. If he keeps himself bottled up all the time, all his fears and suspicions are going to grow in him like a cancer. You also have to make sure that he stays in constant contact with people that he loves. Bring his parents here at least every other day. He has to have alot of positive human contact to counteract the suspicion that's starting to fester in him. And for the gods' sake, make them stop making him feel like a prisoner!" she snapped. "You better tell the Keeper and those others to just back off. They're killing him with attention."

"I did not realize that his position was so tenuous," Dolanna said in surprise. "He does not seem--"

"He's a damn good actor, Dolanna," Jesmind said grimly. "I can see it all over him. The simple fact that he flinches when people touch him is all the indication I need. He's keeping up faces because he knows that something's going on, and he doesn't want to tip his hand that he knows. And that's just adding to his trouble."

Dolanna pulled on her robe and tied it about her slim waist. "I will do what I can, Jesmind, but I can offer no guarantees. I am not in a position of authority here."

"No, but you're the only Sorcerer that Tarrin explicitely trusts," she replied. "That gives you a lot of say in his well being. If you tell them that what they're doing is killing him, they'll have to listen. Because none of the others can get close enough to him to find out for themselves."

"True," she agreed. "I will do what I can for him. I can make no guarantees, but I will try."

"You'd better," she said, closing her fist. "If he goes feral on me, I'm going to come back here and take his pain out of a few backsides. Tarrin's not vengeful. I am. Make sure the Keeper knows that her own skin hangs on how well they treat my cub."

"I am sure that she will swoon over hearing such news," Dolanna said dryly.

"She can swoon all she wants," Jesmind snorted. "I have to go. I have to penetrate the Ward before too many people are around to notice it. Just do what you can for him, Sorceress. Keep my cub sane."

"I will try," she replied gravely.

With a simple nod, Jesmind turned and left the woman standing by her bed.

It wasn't much, but it was all that she had. All that Tarrin had.

It surprised him.

Tarrin sat in the garden, watching the sun come up, unsure of what he was feeling, and what it meant.

Jesmind was a woman that never ceased to confuse him to no end. The emotional whirlwind she had always been able to create in him had only intensified with her leaving, leaving him unsure of what he felt for her. The bizarre mixture of hatred, anger, and trust and even desire he felt for his enigmatic bond-mother had been scrambled like an egg with her gone, and there was an emptiness inside him that he didn't expect every time that he thought about her.

What concerned him was how serious she seemed to be not only about him, but about his mental condition. He felt rather in control of himself, but Jesmind's concern about him made him second-guess his own confidence. He felt more than in control, since his time in cat form had ended, he'd existed in a very content peaceful state with his cat half. He'd had very little problem at all, because he understood his animal instincts much better. Now he wondered if he was in control as much as he thought. He did have to admit that her closeness had made him feel more secure, even when he wanted to tear out her throat. That was a primitive instinctual reacion and he knew it, but he was powerless to overcome it. With her gone, he felt much more vulnerable, and it was a feeling that he didn't like. Not one bit. One thing he had learned about himself was that any time he felt uncertain or uncomfortable, it fomented discord between his rational mind and his instincts. In order to maintain his balance, he was going to have to be very careful and try to remain calm and in control. Even if he wasn't in control, it was important for him to feel like he had control of his life, and that was why he had dropped a note off at Keritanima's door before coming outside. The sooner he started regaining control of his life, the better it would be for him.

One could only think for so long about things that couldn't be answered, and Tarrin was never one to dwell on negatives. He had to look forward, to the future, and come to terms with it. But one thing was for certain. With the way he felt now, he didn't want to live in the stress of the Tower's shadow for any longer than absolutely necessary. They had brought him to Suld, and at first he had been happy to come. But the reality of what was going on around him had jaded his initial optomism. He didn't like not knowing what they wanted from him, and the fact that they wouldn't come out and tell him made him feel that it wasn't something that he'd like doing very much. Tarrin's initial impression of the Keeper had been dislike. It had degenerated into distrust when she put the collar on him, and now it was bordering on rebellion because he knew that something was going on. No, not bordering. It was rebellion. Tarrin wanted no part of what the Tower was planning for him. He was brought to the Tower to learn, and from the beginning he was told that continuing to study Sorcery would be his own decision. That after he learned the basics and was no threat to the world, he was free to go. But they weren't going to let him do that, and that made him feel trapped. Tarrin didn't respond well to that feeling.

The sharp scent of Keritanima touched his nose, and he looked up from the gravel pathway. She was advancing towards him slowly, dressed a bit hastily in an Initiate dress but sleep still creeping across her features. She wasn't her usual perfect self, but then again, her Royal Highness wasn't accustomed to waking up before the sun. Tarrin had slid a note under her door, a note that her maid or one of her two bodyguards had no doubt given to her. Keritanima shared her apartment with her mink-wikuni maid, and during the night a pair of absolutely massive lizard-Wikuni guarded her door. The Keeper made Keritanima adhere to the Initiate codes, but she had been forced to make several exceptions, due to her royal lineage.

"I'm going to kill you, Tarrin," she said grumpily. "Do you have any idea how much I hate getting up in the morning?"

"You'll live," he told her. "I figured that this would be the best time to talk."

"The only reason I came out was because Jervis hasn't gotten here yet," she told him.

"Then it's best that we talk now," he told her.

"Where's Allia?"

"Still asleep," he replied. "I don't think that she's going to be a big help in what we need to talk about."

Her amber eyes gave him a penetrating look. "I take it something happened?"

He nodded. "Jesmind is gone," he told her.

"You--"

"No, nothing like that," he cut her off. "She had to go back home. But she said a few things to me that made me think, and it's something that concerns both of us."

"This master plan?" she asked, and he nodded. "Well, I guess I feel secure enough to get started," she announced. "Miranda has already made many friends among the Tower's servants."

"Miranda?"

"My maid," she replied. "Miranda knows about me, Tarrin. She's one of the reasons I'm still alive."

"You didn't mention her before."

"That's because she likes to keep it as quiet as I do," she told him. "If my father ever found out, he'd realize that Miranda would have to know the truth, and he'd probably have her executed for treason."

"I doubt that."

"You don't know my father," she said. "You said something about a Tiella?"

He nodded. "Tiella is a novice that came to the Tower with me," he said. "She can help because her daily task is to clean the Keeper's office."

Keritanima chuckled. "I think that that's definitely a help," she agreed. "But she can't rifle the Keeper's desk."

"I know," he said. "But she can pass along anything she sees in passing. Tiella has a good memory."

"I hope so," Keritanima said, tapping herself on the end of her snout with a clawed finger. "Allia told me the other day that she can understand you when you're a cat. Does that mean that you can talk to other cats?"

Tarrin blinked, and gaped at her. "How did you know that?"

"It's elementary, if you think about it," she said. "If she can communicate with you as a cat, then you must speak in some sort of language. And if you do that, then obviously cats can communicate with each other."

"I'm glad you think it's obvious," he told her.

"Then it's true."

"Without going into a long explanation, yes."

"Then why don't you ask some of the Tower's cats to give you a hand?"

"Because they're still animals, Keritanima," he told her. "Cats aren't stupid, but their intelligence isn't the same type as ours. I wouldn't know where to begin asking a cat to dig for information without guiding it step by step."

"Well, it was a thought. But it definitely means that I need a cat."

"What for?"

"Who better to send with information?" she asked with a smile. "All it takes is a hollow collar and instructions to find you. Assuming, of course, that I could make it understand to come find you."

"Now that, I could help you with," he said. "I can ask it to come find me when you say something specific to it. They don't understand the common speech, but they can learn a few words."

"Good enough," she told him, leaning back and looking at the sunrise. "Just keep it low, Tarrin. Let me handle it."

"I was planning to," he assured her. "But I'm still going to see what I can learn."

"How so?"

He extended his claws and showed them to her. "These let me get into alot of open windows," he replied calmly.

"Just be careful," she replied.

"I'm always careful, Keritanima," he replied soberly, looking at the rising sun.

"Good, because I may need your help."

"How so?"

"The fastest way to find out what someone knows about someone is to make them talk about that someone," she explained. "If you want me to find out why they're so interested in you, you have to make them talk about you. And nothing can make that happen faster than when you make them angry."

Tarrin smiled slightly. "I think you have a plan."

"Oh, I have a very good plan," she replied with a roguish smile. "It involves all three of us. It's certain to drive the katzh-dashicrazy. That's just an added bonus, because what it's going to do is make certain that alot of people talk about us. That's information that'll be easy to gather up." She put her feet on the bench and drew up her knees to her chest. "The Princess Brat has been doing that for quite a while, so she can easily incite the Sorcerers into conniptions, but can you and Allia do it?"

"What would we have to do?"

She licked her chops absently, thoughts obviously forming behind her eyes. "The quickest way for the two of you to make them angry would probably be to become defiant," she reasoned. "That should be easy for you. But the problem is going to be coming up with a reason for you to rebel that makes sense. Plus it will make them show us just exactly how valuable they think we are."

He could understand the logic of that. By seeing how much they would take before they finally took action, he would understand how valuable he was.

"Since I've established the fact that the Brat Princess likes you two, she would probably join in the rebellion," she continued. "I'd rather not, but unfortunately, it's the way things are."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you," she said with bright eyes. "I touched the Weave yesterday!"

"Congratulations," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "What's it like?"

"I'm not supposed to tell you that, but I loved it!" she said in wonder. "Now I understand why I've always detested the idea of being Queen. Sorcery is what I was born to do."

"I'm happy for you, Keritanima," he said, then he chuckled. "Why did your father give you such a long name?"

"It's something of a custom among female aristocrats," she sniffed. "My sisters have names just as long as mine."

"Well, I'm in danger of biting my tongue off every time I say it, so I'm going to call you Kerri," he told her. "Not because it sounds nice, but because I don't want to go around sounding like an idiot."

She laughed. "Kerri, is it? Well, I guess I can live with that. We'll discuss my fee for being so gracious some other time. Anyway, since I've just managed to make a touch on the Weave, rebelling would mean refusing lessons. I'd rather not do that, but I may not have a choice."

Tarrin's eyes narrowed. "Maybe not," he said. "It's not in stone yet, but let me see if I can't organize a bit of covert instruction."

"That short one? Dolanna?"

He nodded. "She's a very good friend. I may convince her to teach us secretly."

"We'll spend our time in rebellion in the library," she continued. "If we want a real chance at getting away, if it comes to that, we'll need every advantage we can get our hands on."

"How?"

"Tarrin, the Ancients wielded power that would make the katzh-dashi look like Novices," she said. "If we could somehow learn just one or two little secrets, we could maybe use them to make good on any escape. Don't you forget that if we run, they'll just use magic to find us. We have to find a way to stop that before we try anything."